The First Church of Al Gore's Beard
Welcome, fellow worshippers! The First Church of Al Gore's Beard was founded by the news media on the belief that analyzing the facial hair of our former Vice-President can enable us to see the future, particularly the 2004 presidential election. And I, Vince Young of WMEL Radio, have been selected to lead this church so that our knowledge can be used for good, not evil.
	There is no Gore but Al, and Joe Lieberman is his lackey.
Divining the future from Al Gore's facial hair is not an easy process, nor is it simple. And alas, I cannot divulge many of the details of our secret ritualistic procedures, other than that it involves a rubber hose, a cat, 26 jars of Bondo, and a copy of Karl Marx's Communist Manifesto. But now, for the first time ever, I can give you, who may be curious about this fine religion, a glimpse into some of the ancient prophecies that we consult when making our predictions for the future. I now read to you from the Hallowed Book of AP. (No, not Associated Press. Just "Ap.") And it came to pass in the 19th century that a man of great stature and immensely hairy chin did run for the presidency, and this man was called Rutherford B. Hayes. And there was much celebration, for many people wanted to vote for him and not for that obvious loser, Samuel J. Tilden. So, many fathers voted for Rutherford B. Hayes, and many more sons voted unto their fathers, and many more people voted unto themselves, both early and often. But lo, this was illegal, and caused great weeping and wailing in Washington DC. The Almighty Congress was forced to intervene, and they struck a compromise. Rutherford B. Hayes would be allowed to serve as President anyway, but only if he was the last man with a beard to do so. As you can see, according to the Hallowed Book of AP, because Al Gore is wearing a beard, we can safely assume for now that he will not run for the presidency in 2004. This is The Truth. It absolutely must be true, and if your faith in Al Gore's beard is true, then you will have no doubts of this. And if Al Gore shaves off his beard tomorrow, I will quickly erase this page and deny everything while I try to find another pseudo-religious movement to concoct. Oh, I'm sorry, I wasn't supposed to type that here. In the meantime, send money! Al Gore's beard demands a tithe of 39.6%, with appropriate income tithing credits for families with children. Beware these false Gores! Jonathan Frakes, who played Commander Riker on Star Trek: The Next Generation, often tries to mimic the One True Gore. See in this picture his devilish attempt to match the natural tilt of the head of Al Gore? But pay attention, and you'll see that Frakes has a bit more hair on top of his head, making it possible to tell the difference. Don't be fooled. Bruce Boxleitner, also known as Captain Sheridan from Babylon 5, has created a much craftier imitation of the One True Gore. The shape of his face, his serious expression, all of it a masterful copy of Gore. Indeed, this man is a clever imposter! The only way to tell him from the real Gore is to ask about the Dingle-Norwood Bill. If he does not understand you then he is not the One True Gore. The uncanny resemblance of Al Gore and Vladimir Lenin has led some to speculate that Al Gore is the reincarnation of Lenin. This is heresy! Do not entertain such thoughts, for there is but One True Gore, and he has always been here to take care of us. Most dangerous of all is the Anti-Gore! He will poison your drinking water, pollute your air, give all of your money to rich people, and conquer the world with a missle defense system. Do not let his tax rebate bribe you into complacency, for the Anti-Gore is up to no good and must be stopped! Go now in the peace of Al Gore's beard.

Okay, there you have it: the world-famous First Church of Al Gore's Beard. Wasn't that worth 5 minutes of your life? ;) Hopefully you'll enjoy the rest of the site a bit better than that. You can also click here to learn about the origin of the First Church of Al Gore's Beard.

 

About Me

My name is Vince Young, and I am NOT a football player. I'm a young resident of Palm Bay, the largest city along the Space Coast in Florida, and I'm a local radio talk-show host on AM-1300 WMEL in Cocoa, a bit north of Palm Bay. This site serves as a companion to my radio show as we discuss news and events in Brevard County, local politics, and state and national news, as well as whatever random stuff catches my fancy. To learn more, click here.

 

Recent posts

	Obama pays lip service to national debt. How about paying money instead? (1/26/10)
	Democrats finally listen on health care, but still can't stop spending your money (1/21/10)
	Massachusetts on red alert; new state tax hampers business (1/19/10)
	Happy MLK Jr. Day; Nye vs. Bolin; Crist vs. Crist (1/18/10)
	Obama takes aim at banks; Cocoa Beach installs red-light camera (1/14/10)
	County still bleeding cash; Cocoa shoots themselves in the foot (1/13/10)
	Quake hits Haiti, ice hits Florida, race hits Harry (1/12/10)
	Snow and guns in Cocoa; Greer bows out (1/7/10)
	Cocoa ice-rink meltdown; redistricting fight looms (1/4/10)
	A look back, and then a look forward (12/31/09)
	Unpaved roads, tasers restricted, and McCollum goes to court (12/29/09)
	Pants on fire: Islamic terrorists AND Florida Today! (12/28/09)
	Rupe Request ends; Posey pulls a Paul; Crist slips (12/22/09)
	Who the hell is Vince Young? (12/14/09)
	Who would you prefer: Obama or Dubya? (12/11/09)
	Democrats order another round of debt! (12/10/09)
	Tiger Woods is news? NASA gets money. And Obama wants tax cuts? (12/9/09)
	SunRail passes while budget deficit swells (12/8/09)
	Rent-A-Cow costing us money? Plus Melbourne plans appeal (12/7/09)
	Confederates sue, high-speed rail chugs on, and parents whine (12/3/09)
	Obama FINALLY decides on Afghanistan; Sunshine Law; Climategate (12/1/09)
	Infantini on the show tonight; Steve Crisafulli wants to raise taxes? (11/30/09)
	Daily Bread wins expansion fight; global warming crowd caught fudging numbers? (11/24/09)
	Maureen Rupe on the show tonight; fight back, get fired? (11/23/09)
	Sunshine Law issues pop up again; store owner defends himself with a gun (11/19/09)
	The Rupe Request: the view from Maureen Rupe (11/19/09)
	The Rupe Request: the view from Viera (11/18/09)
	My Lawyer Made Me Change The Name Of This Entry So I Wouldn't Get Sued (11/18/09)
	Public records request questioned; code enforcement goes wild (11/17/09)
	Steele-d for a fight; bridge breaks again; environmentalists fibbing (11/12/09)
	Fort Hood aftermath, EELS fight, and health care "reform" (11/9/09)
	Breaking news: massacre at Ford Hood (11/5/09)
	Election results from November 3rd, 2009 (11/4/09)
	This is it! Elections on Tuesday, health-care vote on Friday! (11/2/09)
	Info on the 11/3 city election candidates (10/29/09)
	Common-sense on red-light cameras; offshore drilling IS clean enough (10/27/09)
	Crist's Obama hug was just being "civil"; a simple solution to school overcrowding (10/26/09)
	Obama vs. Cheney; national debt ceiling could hit $13 trillion! (10/22/09)
	Crist's numbers drop; more sanity for our property tax system? (10/21/09)
	American flags are "offensive" now? And make a decision already, Obama! (10/20/09)
	Crist re-writes history, Obama relaxes on medical marijuana, and more flu vaccine news (10/19/09)
	Audio of the Amy Kneessy interview is available! (10/18/09)
	Amy Kneessy on the show tonight! And is health care a right? (10/15/09)
	Health care forum tonight, school employees protest, and Titusville goes overboard (10/14/09)
	Code enforcement! Grumpy prosecutors! The Senate Finance Committee! RUN!!! (10/13/09)
	Swine flu! Global warming! The Nobel Prize committee! RUN!!! (10/12/09)
	The City of Rockledge and the Sunshine Law (7/28/09)
	Radio schedule for this week: June 1st through June 5th (6/1/09)
	Crist sides with state workers over taxpayers: radio links from 5/27 (6/1/09)
	Red light cameras come to Cocoa Beach: radio links from 5/25 (5/27/09)
	The Vince Young Show: news links from 5/18, 5/19 and 5/21 (5/25/09)
	The Vince Young Show: news links from 5/13 (5/18/09)
	On the air tonight, 5/13; plus WMEL is now streaming online! (5/13/09)
	The Vince Young Show: news links from 5/11 (5/13/09)
	On the air tonight, 5/11! (5/11/09)
	Vote "No" on Palm Bay Works (5/11/09)
	The Vince Young Show: news links from 5/7 (5/11/09)
	ASR forum is tonight! (5/4/09)
	Only one show this week (4/27/09)
	The Vince Young Show: news links from 4/21 (4/23/09)
	The Vince Young Show: news links from 4/16 (4/21/09)
	The Vince Young Show: news links for 4/14 (4/15/09)
	The Vince Young Show: news links for 4/9 (4/9/09)
	The Vince Young Show: program notes for 4/6 (4/7/09)
	I'm moving to weeknights on WMEL! (4/2/09)
	The Vince Young Show: program notes from 3/28 (4/1/09)
	The Vince Young Show: program notes from 3/14 (3/20/09)
	The Vince Young Show: program notes for 3/7 (3/7/09)
	Reminder: The Vince Young Show returns this Saturday night! (3/6/09)

 

Search-o-Matic

 

Ex Post Facto

	What is Ex Post Facto?
	Well, THAT was useful... (2/24/09)
	Gun paranoia strikes again (2/21/09)
	Penny-wise, pound-foolish (11/19/08)
	Why I won't miss Dave Weldon (10/13/08)
	September 12th (9/12/08)
	"I'm suuuuuuuuuing!" (9/3/08)
	Jokers with screenshots (8/25/08)
	A word from the Odd Bird (8/25/08)
	A good, clean fight (8/11/08)
	Who's greedier? (8/5/08)
	VINCE SMASH!!! (8/4/08)
	The First Church of Al Gore's Beard (7/30/08)
	Melbourne Beach versus Walgreens: a fight that never had to happen (7/18/08)

 

Archives

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	September 2009 (no entries)
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	July 2009
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	April 2009
	March 2009
	February 2009
	January 2009 (no entries)
	December 2008
	November 2008
	October 2008
	September 2008
	August 2008
	July 2008
	2007
	First Church of Al Gore's Beard

 

Links

	Brevard County Supervisor of Elections
	Brevard County Government
	Brevard County Schools
	Florida Today  - Opinion section
	Hometown News: Brevard County edition You know that free local newspaper you throw away every week? Yeah, this is that one.
	Brevard Watchlist Matt Reed and Jeff Schweers, investigative reporters for Florida Today.
	Florida Capital News
	House of the Odd Bird A slice-of-life blog from my wife, Cake Buzzard.
	Campaign For Liberty: Brevard County A local group of conservative activists. Get involved!
	Brevard Political Journal Ed Dean's new Brevard news digest.
	Talk To Me Sheree Shatsky's often-updated take on news and life in Brevard County.
	The Offlede Florida Today editor Andrew Knapp goes off the beaten path.
	Space Coast Politics Written by Matthew Nye.
	Space Coast Conservative Written by Linda McKinney.
	Least Significant Bits Jam writes about news, politics, and whatever's on his mind.
	Port St. John, Florida A roundtable blog about Port St. John.
	Drudge Report
	Neal Boortz America's rude awakening.
	Rollye James Direct from the edge of the lunatic fringe.
	Every Day Should Be Saturday Orson Swindle's hilarious take on college football news.
	The Blue-Gray Sky Simply the best blog about Notre Dame football.
	Weather Underground: Tropical Weather  - Dr. Jeff Masters's blog
	Debunking 911 Conspiracy Theories Witty and insightful rebuttals to 9/11 conspiracy theories.
	Libertarian Party
	The FairTax

 

My representatives

	US Senate - George LeMieux (R)
	US Senate - Bill Nelson (D)
	US House 15 - Bill Posey (R)
	FL Senate 26 - Mike Haridopolos (R)
	FL House 30 - Ritch Workman (R)
	County Commission 3 - Trudie Infantini (R)
	School Board 5 - Andy Ziegler
	Palm Bay - City Council  - Mayor: John Mazziotti  - Deputy Mayor: Milo Zonka  - Council Member: William Capote  - Council Member: Kristine Isnardi  - Council Member: Michele Paccione